15 July 2009

Column: Spam

Oh how the joys are many upon receiving spam.

I have been greeted more via spam then I have been on any given day online. I get hugs, hey how are you, looking forward to meet you and so on from every name in the book. Uhm, I’m social but guys give your love to someone else, you're giving me such a headache!

That gives others a way in to report they have a variety in medicine to cure that in a jiffy. From vitamins, to antibiotics, from little blue pills to uppers and downers. If I wanted an online pharmacy I would call Karen Walker (Yes the one from Will And Grace) for a 101.

The 101 makes them say: “hey you want an online degree...Master, Bachelors, Doctorate, come to us.” And that makes me smarter how exactly? You magically wave your wand and poof instant gratification.

And yes, that’s where those perverts come walking in. They say a bigger rod shows the road to success. What happened to my Doctorate then!? They have it all, for dead and useless manhood’s to telling me shy girls like them long and thick too. Of course then I get the messages if I want to lose weight I only have to eat a berry of some sort and lose 5 lbs. Yeah, it is soooooo good that even I can achieve a Heidi “The Body” Klum figure. Natural herbs will rejuvenate your body and looks, no costs! Wishful thinking and what happened to moderate eating and enough exercising? Wasn’t that like, healthy or something? Instead of popping pills? But that’s just me…

And the times I inherited something, man oh man, I didn’t know I had that many uncles out there. Sugar daddy’s leaving me $1.360.000.000 wow that is why I am living in a three bedroom apartment and hubby still works his butt of every day for a boss. And I’m not getting this heritage once, oh no, I’m getting it multiple times a day, lucky me YAY

If I want to try my luck then online Vegas is sending me a free trial to come play a poker game, with my luck I will probably end up in debt or, I have to play with my heritage from my uncle’s, then I would not mind. Okay, perhaps I spoke to soon because if I could spend such kind of green I would do it at Borders or something not gambling online. BTW, am I receiving any spam about free books that isn’t a PR stunt or contest which is always delivered in my normal mailbox instead of spam folder? Of course not, that is why hubby is still working his butt of for his boss, so we can enjoy life!

Spam, if it is possible I would love my e-mail addresses to fade from your e-mail lists. I can do the whole ‘to be never seen or heard from again’; really I don’t mind that we do not keep in touch. I have better things to do with my time then to hear you all about rods, pills, heritage, degrees and so on. So f7, save documents? Hell no, DELETE….yes, by all means, be gone from my pc!


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18 comments:

  1. And that's not even talking about the discusting emails nowadays we're receiving via spam about Michael Jackson. So sickening! I long back for the days where pen-palls ruled and letters took weeks to arrive on another location.

    I mean PC's and internet kudo's and good fun but also a string of highly irritating perverts and law-breakers.

    SIGH I so agree with you on this topic!

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  2. I totally Natascha ..

    Instant gratification equal instant need to fill up other people's in-box with junk...

    Leontine - I am not surprised at nothing I get in my in box any more.. I just click spam on the whole lot and keep my finger cross that I just didn't dump a genuine email from that long lost rich uncle(LOL)

    E.H>

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  3. Mandi, very to the point. It took me a whole blogpost to tell you guys that *headdesk*

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  4. Don't know why but #knock on wood# so far I never had spam!

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  5. Spam is evil!
    I always win the lottery, or get spam on how to please my woman...nope I am not a man spammers.
    of course then there are all my lost relatives and princes who wants me to save them, sighs. DELETE

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  6. Spam suck rotten eggs!!
    I agree with all of you...
    I have won more money from "uncle's" that have died that I do not know of. I have received emails about how to make my breats bigger, tummy smaller all without surgery. I have learned what I need to pump up hubbys stick...
    hell, I have even received emails on how to to get things for free if I would just give them some information!
    AAGGGHHH!!!!
    But to no avail... there is the spam button!!!

    I do agree with Natascha on the pen pal thing. We use to do that when I was in junior high school. We would write to people all over the world and you just simply had to wait in the mail!

    Hope everyone has a great day!!!

    Note for Tristan: Thank you for visiting my place the other day!!! You brightened up my day!! =)

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  7. I get those same spam!

    I remember the first time I got the one that asks if I wanted a bigger penis! I thought OMG! How the heck did I get an email like that!!

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  8. Lady C, You know I'll check your place out on a frequent base. Just to find out what you're up to.

    and Leontine, you've got better things to do right now then to rant about spam. FYI: We've got a meeting in half an hour, be on time!!!!

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  9. OMG Amy...I remember those e-mails too, somewhere along the line I got used to them but the first few times about bigger oh..yes the word cock was used too. Or naughty girls found here pppfffff Most of my spam go directly into a speperate folder but it still agrevating as hell.

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  10. PS: Tristan, I'm never cough *late* cough.

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  11. God to never receive spam again (btw I'm imagining a Scarlett O'hara accent when I type this) whew what a world it would be.

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  12. Leontine since when do you get ordered around by your boy LOL...

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  13. I'm with Marissa on this. I really don't get these kind of emails.
    On my regular email none, one the ROOB email none and on hotmail they go straight to spam folder so I don't see them...

    Must be one of the lucky ones.

    Still spam does suck...as Mandi so eloquently put it LOL

    Tristan> Getting bossy on Leontine are we?? *raised eyebrow*

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  14. I hate spam, particularly icky stuff. The spammers on Twitter are getting more clever. Have you noticed that they now send @ spam tweets? They used to just follow me, which was fine as I could unfollow them. I don't think there's much that can be done when they send @ tweets.

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  15. Oh gosh, the picture alone made me laugh. Everything you've said, Leontine, I couldn't agree more. Spam is the devil that becomes pixelated and reproduces at a super fast rate that we're only killing them one by one with the delete button.

    Your post made me laugh because it is so true. I can only wonder if we'll ever see the day where our emails become spam free. Only my university email is spam free, but that's not even the point; I still click delete*.

    Thank you for making my day. =)

    -- Linda

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  16. Oh, I'm stopping by again =)

    I have another award for you, Leontine. =)

    http://bambireads.blogspot.com/2009/07/heartfelt-award.html

    Oh please, this is not spam...

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  17. I look at my spam filter for comedy relief because some of things people send out is mind boggling funny. Mind boggling because they think they can get to click or buy something with their crazy spiels. Yep, just comic relief 'cuz whose going to answer an email from "Nice Toes"?

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